Hello, hello, helloooooooooo...
It's been a fantastic couple of weeks, months even, here in YEG (YEG is the International airport designation for Edmonton that people use here for Twitter and such). My wife's mom and brother have been with us for a visit and it's been so good to see them.
I didn't realize how much I missed everyone back in Ontario until I saw the two of them. Our last 6 years or so in Ontario were very stressful. We had some extreme life events happen at a time when our marriage was not as solid as I believed it to be. My wife and I had drifted apart and had really lost that support for one another that had always been there in the past, even to the point of losing our love for each other. During these years I had also pushed my friends and my faith away into the background. I was living for myself and not for my God or my family. For this I have truly and deeply repented. My wife and I both made mistakes, we are and never have been perfect. Our marriage was akin to the Titanic, we thought it "unsinkable" but learned that it was not. We have climbed aboard the life-raft and are now afloat together.
Our move to Edmonton was a turning point in our life. It forced all that had been hidden from each other to the surface and into the light. We have had obstacles to overcome and this is where our faith has been reignited, in our God and in each other. Although these obstacles are behind us now, we are still on a journey of healing together. The operative word there being "TOGETHER". Our love and desire for one another has been rekindled and I am speaking in faith that our marriage will be stronger in the end. Healing continues.
Long story short, if there is something to be learned from all that I have been through these past years, something learned that I can pass on to you, it would be that communication is always KEY in your relationships. Let those in your life know what you are going through and let them help you through it. Don't keep things bottled up inside, but also don't blow your top at every little thing, or even at all. Make sure that the people you are closest to, either your spouse, partner, children or friends are indeed closest to you. Meaning, don't put other things before them, that was my mistake and that almost cost my marriage. Putting myself and only what I wanted to do ahead of my wife sent her elsewhere to seek the love she craved and when you crave love it doesn't take much to turn your heart to another, which then sent me towards inappropriate things to satisfy what I felt was lacking, our hearts are fickle things. Nothing is more important than the people you are close to, not your job, not even your life. Learn to lay down your life on a daily basis for these people because if you can do that then they can only ever feel loved by you. Keep in mind always that love is not just a feeling, love is a choice, it is a verb not just a noun or adjective. It is a choice because you can choose to love even when the feeling isn't present, that may sound strange but it is true. I know from experience and if you choose to love feelings will inevitably return. Making a stand for your relationships and not throwing them to the wind and moving on speaks more volumes to the generations that are behind us than anything we could really ever say. We give up too easily. Nothing worth having is ever easy, and nothing easy is ever really worth having...
TR
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